Bali, Mountain Peaks & Sea Deep

Bali has a sort of magic that cannot be perturbed. It’s hard to describe with words the powerful energy of her land, and can only really be felt by the individual that is called to her land. When you are being silently drawn to Bali, trust that you are being guided for a reason. She has soul work for you to do. She has life lessons and gifts for you. Once here, if you allow yourself to completely surrender to the Gods & Goddesses of her womb, know that she will crack every hidden and buried wound, wide open.

She will fragment your heart into tiny pieces. She will hold up a mirror to your face and say, “look, there’s no hiding now, it’s all in you.” But really, it’s up to you, you can decide. Are you willing to go deeper than the ocean to uncover what needs to be seen, are you willing to go to the mountain peaks to rise above your ego and your past stories?

Her wish is to wash your soul clean, to purify, to teach you, to show you. You’ve been lead here because on a soul level it’s time for you to forget everything, and then to remember, to remember why you came here. If you flow with her every divine and synchronistic motion, she will gently, sometimes loudly, show you the way. She will embrace you and gift you everything that you need, but not always what you want or expect. She’s the truth barer. There is no way you can hide from yourself here. She will trigger you and frustrate you, but love you all the same. Karma, in a place as powerful as Bali, will bite you in the ass so hard you will learn your lessons well... or will you?! 

She teaches you how to be truly present with yourself because everything can shift in a split moment. You could wake feeling the weight of the world on your entire being and then a chance meeting may fill you with light and catapult you into all you’ve been dreaming of and more.

Whatever you give energy to expands and magnifies like no other place I know. 

It is said that two Ley Lines cross through Bali, known as the male and female Great Dragon. These represent Earth purification, so it makes sense, then, that if one allows themselves to be held by Mama Bali, she will indeed, purify you. As a detox goes, though, the purification process will involve some discomfort, and that’s probably an understatement!

When you resist and fight, she’ll fight back and whisper, “Just let me take you”. If you finally fall back and let go, she’ll say, “I’ve been waiting for you, trust me, I’ve got you!” The journey can, and most likely, will be deep. You’ll oscillate between pain and joy, confusion and clarity, uncomfortable and comfortable, feeling far away from home and being home, fear and trust, knowing and unknowing, loss and love... there will be days when you are filled with a natural ecstasy for her and life itself as you dance with her magic, and days where you just can’t and don’t want to leave your solitude in your cave, hiding away from the rest of the world.

She is also pure magic. She is a vortex of transformation and purification. She is jungle, and tropical fruits and bright colours and sweet smelling incense. And she is also traffic jams and pollution and plastic and potholes and stray cats and dogs. She is walkways that lead to rice paddies and kids flying kites and palm trees and rivers and freshly fallen coconuts. No photos can capture her true beauty and all of the colours and smells. Here you can be so abundant with her food and her beauty, and temples and waterfalls, and blessings and nature and, of course, her deep and profound lessons. She will abound you and compound you and drive you absolutely wild, whilst she loves you and shows you... each way to go. She will push you to the knife-edge again and again, until you want to run away, followed by the biggest blessing of your life.

She is a portal of creation and rebirth and playfulness and adventure. She is dance and music and ceremonies. She is community living and separation and belonging and home. Volcanoes, sunrises creeping through the jungle trees in the early mornings as the cockerels wake, and heavy downpours of rain and thunder so loud it’ll shake you to the core. She is mysterious, powerful and full of mystical wonder. Purging and purifying all that no longer serves your soul.

If you can withstand her magnificence, you will certainly leave another person, or maybe you’ll get stuck here! Once here, it can be hard to leave. I have had friends land into Ubud and share that they don’t know how I live here for longer than 2 weeks because they find it all too intense. She is intense. But she also gives you the space to hold yourself, to just be, and the space to hide away and nurture you, if that’s what you need.

Here you will be seen. Here you will be directed to step into your true essence and your highest self. Here you will learn your deepest lessons, whilst also receiving some of your biggest blessings. If there is more “work” for you to do, she won’t let you go. If you do manage to escape her, and there is more for you to receive, I have no doubt she will reel you back in one way or another. I, for one, can vouch for that.

It’s been just over 3 years since I first landed into Bali. My first experience was one of sheer awe, fascination, wonder, fun and awakening. I thought I’d landed into Narnia. Time became an illusion and every corner opened up to something new and enchanting. For 4 months she allowed me to just be, and graced me with interesting and inspiring characters that filled my days and nights. I danced, and adventured into the wild, and danced, and danced some more... drank 100s of fresh coconuts and ate the most incredible food. Bali is so incredibly abundant in so many ways, and I embraced it all.

I experienced many things for the first time, including plant medicines, women’s womb work & cacao ceremonies around the fire. It was a place that I really felt home, I felt seen and loved. Having moved every 2 years as a child I never felt I really “belonged” anywhere or to anyone. I felt quite alone in the world, even though I knew the physicality of that was not the truth. Somehow my soul felt it though.

I shifted, and transformed, and I learnt a lot. But she wasn’t done with me yet. 1 year later, Spirit would guide me back through a beloved that would cross my path on the smallest island I’ve ever been on in Croatia. I followed. That next year would bring about yet more lessons and transformation, beauty and pain. I flew her nest once again, vowing never to return. Less than 6 months later, a friend was getting married in Ubud, I of course, agreed to come and celebrate her union. I almost didn’t get on the flight though. I stood with my suitcase about to leave my friends house in London and nearly turned my back, returning to the house. Somehow I faced ahead and turned into all my fears, and got on the flight. It was definitely a sliding doors moment.

How grateful I am that I made that choice. Stepping into the fear, and the unknown and the pain, allowed Bali to really work her magic. She purified me through so many layers. She shook my world upside down and inside out and threw me on my head. She also held me and gifted me so much beauty that came through people and opportunities and divine synchronicities. She energetically slapped me across the face again and again whilst also bringing me home, to my inner power and myself. She showed me the truth. She catapulted me into the life my soul had slowly been heading towards. Fast tracked me onto the path my heart desired. She showed me how karma works in mysterious ways. She showed me that she really had my back.

She also showed me what it means to truly trust your intuition, what it means to really surrender and trust. The more I flowed with her, the more she gifted me. If I went into fear, she would show me more fear. When I prayed and sent gratitude for all that is, I was sent more divine gifts. The power of prayer became my meditation. Some days I was surrounded by dark spirits and entities, other days my angels would show themselves and bring me out of the darkness. Music channeled through me as I opened myself up to her. Her water blessings, fire ceremonies, medicine journeys, and dances, cleansed me and guided me home.

So even though there have been days when I have wanted to run and scream and rage, I have also allowed and laughed and cried tears of joy. I know that I had 2 cancelled flights for a reason. Those extra 5 weeks brought me some more of my deepest and profound lessons and healings. Forever grateful. Third time lucky, it flows. I’m sure she will pull me back in when there is more “work” to do, but for now I will fly her nest once more and follow my heart back to my roots and my birth place. I know that land is calling me for a reason too. Suksma Mama Bali!!! You urban jungle, paradise jungle, jungle of creativity, transformation, healing and beauty!!! Flying out of the vortex! 

Slowing Down

At the end of November 2016 I went to a Cacao Ceremony & Elemental Dance. At the beginning I picked an Osho card, "Slowing down" faced me. I read the description, and knew, as always, that this was not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear at that point in time. 

Two weeks later, I opened up my own pack of Osho cards, "Slowing down" popped out in front of me, I didn't bother doing a reading, I was getting the message loud and clear.

I was well aware that there were certain elements in my life I was rushing. As a Red Rhythmic Serpent, according to the Mayan Calendar, although I sought to strike balance in my life and with those around me, the serpent side of me would dive straight into the action, without a second thought. I was in, head first, but would learn in time to become more of an eagle, soaring above, patiently watching and waiting for things to unfold. 

I wanted things to happen now!! But I knew I had to surrender to my flow and let the future unfold in its own way, everything happening in divine time. My attitude in the past was, I'd rather have an "oh well" than a "what if", no regrets. Although I keep that fairly close still, I'm also learning more patience & trust. Sometimes things take time. And for good reason. 

So, not only was I becoming more aware of slowing down in many different facets of my life, I was learning, still, to be more present. To not focus on tomorrow on what that may bring, or next month or next year. But to see and experience and fully feel what was happening now. Always a work in progress that one ;) with slowing down there has come more presence, with presence comes more peace and with peace comes contentment. Contentment in knowing that everything is happening just as it should, when it should, how it should. And I trust it!